he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
