I looked at my own cervix.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
