She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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