I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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