Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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