At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
