Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
