sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
