So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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