I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
