i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
