when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
