Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
