I want to make a zoo with you.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
