Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
