A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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