Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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