so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
