Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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