I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
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