Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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