I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
