everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
