Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
it's like iHOP with fire
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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