It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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