the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
