we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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