Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
