bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
