it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
