It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
