So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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