There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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