I think scott just propositioned me for sex
This is not my ceiling
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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