Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
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