we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
