We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
