my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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