Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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