Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
