hotel room ftw
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
