It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
