I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
