Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
