haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
