So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
