do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
