You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
