I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
We're too hungover to prance.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
