Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
