This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
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